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"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid."

—Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts], Recurring Saturday Night Live comedy bit

 

World News From BBC

Kepler sees world with distant orbit  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 11:04:54 GMT
The Kepler Space Telescope has spotted a distant world with the longest year of any planet in the mission's inventory. 
'Large gene find in schizophrenia'  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 03:48:33 GMT
In the largest ever genetic study of the disease, scientists have discovered some 80 genes which could leave people at higher risk of schizophrenia. 
'Exciting' drug flushes out HIV  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 04:31:12 GMT
Scientists say they have made an "exciting" step towards curing HIV by forcing the virus out of its hiding places in the body. 
Buttler replaces Prior for England  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:52:21 GMT
Jos Buttler replaces Matt Prior as wicketkeeper in the England squad for the third Test against India at the Rose Bowl. 
Chambers pulls out of Commonwealths  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:14:12 GMT
British 100m champion Dwain Chambers withdraws from Glasgow 2014 to focus on next month's European Championships. 
Seeing a doctor for the first time in seven years  Sun, 20 Jul 2014 23:03:42 GMT
Healthcare reform is President Obama's signature piece of domestic legislation, and also his most controversial - but quietly, millions are signing up. 
The beaches where Lego keeps washing up  Mon, 21 Jul 2014 00:12:42 GMT
A container filled with Lego fell into the sea in 1997. The pieces are still turning up today. 
Attack on Congo barracks 'repulsed'  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:20:51 GMT
An attack on the military barracks of the presidential guards in Kinshasa has been repulsed, the DR Congo government says. 
Ukraine rebels give up 'black boxes'  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 06:44:14 GMT
Rebels in eastern Ukraine have handed over two flight-data recorders from the downed MH17 plane to Malaysian officials. 
EU to widen Russia sanctions  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:33:17 GMT
The EU will widen sanctions against Russia to include more individuals and consider targeting the defence sector, the Dutch foreign minister says. 
China signs Venezuela oil deal  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 00:44:39 GMT
Chinese President Xi Jinping has signed an oil deal with Venezuela, as part of a four-day tour of Latin America. 
Iraq monastery 'seized by militants'  Mon, 21 Jul 2014 15:25:38 GMT
Islamist militants who control the Iraqi city of Mosul are reported to have seized a nearby ancient monastery and ordered the monks to leave. 
US hospital in $190m 'abuse' payout  Mon, 21 Jul 2014 18:23:57 GMT
Johns Hopkins Hospital agrees to pay $190m to thousands of women who joined a legal case claiming a gynaecologist secretly recorded them. 
UK experts to retrieve MH17 data  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:45:28 GMT
British air accident investigators will retrieve data from the black boxes of crashed flight MH17, says Prime Minister David Cameron. 
'Disturbing' Trojan inquiry findings  Tue, 22 Jul 2014 12:49:45 GMT
Nicky Morgan, the new education secretary, warns of evidence of intolerance as the government's Trojan horse report is published.